How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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