if you like me you must not know who I am
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
