Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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