covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
