You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
