I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
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