ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
