Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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