You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
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