I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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