Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Randomize
