She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
