I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
Randomize
