here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
