Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
