at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
