Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
