Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
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