season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
