She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Randomize
