Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Please don't give away my fajitas
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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