You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
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