On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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