i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
Randomize