Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Randomize
