Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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