i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
