Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Randomize
