I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
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