So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
