I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
