the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
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