the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize