Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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