I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
