I saw his package. It spoke to me.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
Randomize
