cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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