dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
