I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
