i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Randomize
