it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
pray to the hookup gods
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
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