I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
meet me or not, i'm out of control
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
