Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
