you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
