I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
The air was thick with penises
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize
