A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
okay pat passed out under dana's car
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
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