why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Randomize
