Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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