Where did you get a picture of my penis
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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