a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Randomize
