Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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